Understanding people has always been a valuable skill, but according to former Secret Service agent Evy Poumpouras, truly reading someone goes far beyond watching their body language. With years of experience protecting world leaders and analyzing high-pressure human behavior, she explains that the real key lies in understanding how people think — not just how they move.
Why Body Language Alone Isn’t Enough
Many people believe crossed arms, lack of eye contact, or nervous gestures automatically reveal deception or discomfort. Poumpouras warns that these assumptions are often misleading. Body language must always be interpreted within context. A person may cross their arms because they’re cold, tired, or simply comfortable — not because they’re hiding something. Rather than focusing on isolated gestures, she emphasizes observing a person’s baseline behavior. Everyone has a natural way of speaking, moving, and reacting. Only when someone significantly deviates from that baseline does a behavior become meaningful.
The Importance of Understanding Headspace
One of Poumpouras’s most important insights is the concept of “headspace.” She explains that people generally operate from different mental frameworks, and recognizing which one someone is using can dramatically improve communication. Some people are identity-driven, meaning they communicate through feelings, beliefs, and personal perspectives. They often use phrases like “I feel,” “I think,” or “I believe,” and they respond best when they feel emotionally understood. Others are task-oriented, focusing on objectives, efficiency, and results. These individuals prefer direct language, problem-solving, and clear outcomes. Emotional explanations may frustrate them, while concise communication earns their respect. Understanding which headspace someone is in allows you to adjust your approach and avoid unnecessary conflict.
Listening Is the Most Powerful Tool
Poumpouras stresses that people reveal far more through their words than through their posture. By listening carefully — without interrupting — you can learn what motivates someone, what they value, and what they fear. Silence, she notes, is often more powerful than speaking. When people are given space, they naturally fill it with information. She also advises paying attention to word choices and tone. Changes in speech patterns, hesitation, or overly rehearsed answers can signal discomfort or stress, especially when they differ from someone’s usual style.
Patterns Matter More Than Moments
Another critical mistake people make is judging others based on a single interaction. Human behavior is fluid, and one moment rarely tells the whole story. Poumpouras encourages observing patterns over time instead. Repeated actions, consistent language, and recurring emotional responses provide a far more accurate picture of someone’s character than any single incident. This approach not only helps identify dishonesty but also deepens understanding and empathy.
Using These Skills in Everyday Life
While Poumpouras’s background is rooted in high-stakes security work, her insights are highly practical for everyday situations. Whether navigating workplace dynamics, relationships, or difficult conversations, reading people accurately can prevent misunderstandings and build trust. The goal, she explains, isn’t manipulation — it’s clarity. When you understand how someone thinks, you can communicate more effectively, respond with intention, and make better decisions about who you trust and how you engage.
A Smarter Way to Understand People
Ultimately, Poumpouras teaches that reading people is less about spotting hidden signals and more about developing awareness, patience, and emotional intelligence. By focusing on mindset, patterns, and genuine listening, anyone can gain a clearer, more honest understanding of the people around them — and navigate human interactions with confidence rather than guesswork.
