A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yes’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he’s watching you.’
The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘Moses,’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’
This short, humorous story is a perfect example of how unexpected twists and clever wordplay can make for an engaging narrative. It combines elements of suspense, wit, and irony, delivering a memorable punchline that leaves readers both amused and surprised.
At its core, the story revolves around a burglar who, during an otherwise typical break-in, encounters something completely out of the ordinary—a talking parrot. The tale begins with a sense of tension as the burglar cautiously navigates the dark house, using a flashlight to search for valuables. The suspense heightens when a mysterious voice pierces the silence, saying, “Jesus knows you’re here.” This cryptic statement catches the burglar completely off guard, evoking both fear and paranoia. His reaction—turning off the flashlight and freezing in place—captures his growing unease and sets the stage for the humorous twist to follow.
As the burglar regains his composure and continues his theft, the voice returns, even more direct this time: “Jesus is watching you.” This repetition amplifies the suspense, making the reader wonder who or what could be speaking. The burglar, now thoroughly startled, frantically searches the room with his flashlight, only to discover that the ominous warnings are coming from an unlikely source: a parrot.
Here, the story takes a comedic turn as the burglar confronts the parrot, demanding answers. The bird, named Moses, confesses to being the source of the warnings but insists he was only trying to alert the intruder to the fact that “Jesus is watching you.” The absurdity of the situation—coupled with the idea of a parrot serving as a moral guardian—creates a humorous contrast to the tension built earlier.
The punchline arrives when the burglar, amused by the bird’s name, questions the logic behind naming a parrot Moses. The parrot’s response, “The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus,” delivers an unexpected twist that ties the story together brilliantly. The burglar, who had been so fixated on the mysterious warnings, now realizes that the real threat isn’t divine judgment but rather a fierce guard dog named Jesus.
This story is not just a clever joke; it also showcases the power of misdirection and irony in storytelling. By building tension and leading the reader to expect one outcome—perhaps a supernatural encounter—it instead subverts those expectations with a humorous, down-to-earth explanation. The interplay between the burglar, the parrot, and the unseen Rottweiler adds layers to the narrative, making it both engaging and memorable.
Ultimately, this tale reminds us that humor can be found in the most unexpected situations. It’s a lighthearted anecdote that combines suspense and comedy in equal measure, leaving readers with a smile and a newfound appreciation for creative storytelling. It also highlights the value of clever naming—because who wouldn’t feel a bit intimidated knowing a Rottweiler named Jesus is watching?
